as i was raised to be a fundamentalist roman catholic I always had a certain image about satanists. devil worshippers, child eaters (i actually had a book about satanists eating children), drinking blood, summoning demons, using groovy witchcraft to do shit that was WAY cooler than anything jesus ever did.
bullshit. utter bullshit.
today i’m going to show you WHY it is bullshit. to do this i’m goin to compare the two religions based on six critical points. these are: dangerous beliefs, history of violence and abuse, how realistic it is, indoctrination, general evilness, and general bullshit
PART I: DANGEROUS BELIEFS
SATANISTS: Believe that we should indulge in earthly, physical pleasures. this can lead to fatness and potentially STDs.
CHRISTIANS: hates gays, poor people, women, liberals, and heathens (aka everyone else). believes that their god is going to kill you. yes, you, right there, reading this. he fucking hates you, you piece of shit. believes that torture-murdering a jew saved the world. believe the most disgustingly immoral book ever written is the will of God, who will reward them for following his “instructions.”
EVIL SCORECARD: Satanists – 0 / Christians – 1
PART II: HISTORYOF VIOLENCE AND ABUSE
Satanists – have never waged a war; believes children are the greatest and purest form of life there iz
Christians – wage countless wars, including the crusades and inquisition; hires child rapists
EVIL SCORECARD: Satanists – 0 / Christians – 2
PART III: HOW REALISTIC IS IT?
Satanists: believe we should enjoy our livez on earth and seek truth, not stupidity – it supports science and philosophical research and truth-finding; believes we die when we die
Christians – believe the earth is 6,000 years old, god hates gays, women, etc…. believe a senior citizen fit 2 of each of the 10 billion existing species of animals on a boat and they survived for 40 days with no food or water….. believe that jesus will someday return and kill anyone they don’t like with his groooovy magic powers….. believe that people come back to life….. believe god just “poofed” everything into existence….. need I go on?
EVIL SCORECARD – Satanists – 0 / Christians – 3
PART IV: INDOCTRINATION
Satanists: are morally opposed to preaching
Christians: indoctrinate children too young and innocent to know bullshit when they hear it
EVIL SCORECARD: Satanists – 0 / Christians – 4
PART V: GENERAL EVILNESS
Satanists: dress really scary to scare christians
Christians: seem like generally good people
EVIL SCORECARD: Satanists – 1 / Christians – 4
PART VI: GENERAL BULLSHIT
Satanists: dont believe in god OR satan
Christians: believe in god AND satan
EVIL SCORECARD: Satanists – 1 / Christians - 5
damn satan kicked jesus’ imaginary ASS
ahahahahahhahahaa, this was fucking histarical, your right though, and to think satan was the underdog in this fight.
also i think im gonna have to borrow the satanic bible from you i want to read it, Anton LaVey was a genius.
You have a slight contradiction in your post. You said Christians do all these horrible things (brainwash kids and bash gays), but then called them generally good people. Not only that, but Christianity teaches to love gays, women, poor people (Jesus was one). Almost every occupation runs into accidentally hiring a rapist or murderer. The inquisitions and the crusades were hundreds of years ago.
Also, Satanists do teach their ideals and beliefs to their children and extremists have committed pretty immoral and even violent acts. And as to wars, there really aren’t enough Satanists to start a good war.
P.S. I don’t hate gays, women (I’m dating and soon to marry one), liberals (don’t hate you), believe the earth is 6,000 years old or encourage children to blindly accept anything.
I could respond point-by-point, but I don’t see why I would. This post’s intended as a little humorous. Just like that “God vs. Al Capone” post.
I know, I almost poked some fun at Anton LaVey and black masses, but I wasn’t sure at first, so I erred on the side of caution.
Eh, whatever. I’ll laugh at anything, even if it makes fun of something I like. I thought that Richard Dawkins South Park was hilarious for example, and I thought Byron Crawford’s depiction of Christopher Hitchens was hilarious (“…comes onto Fox looking like he slept in his suit to argue with everyone about everything…”)
That was Freaking Hallarious!!! I came on to learn about satanism and instead i laughed my fricken ass off! thanks for the good laugh and helping me learn more about satanism.
You contradicted yourself greatly! Enough said…
God bless!
the contradiction all those who said there was one, was about the dressing of the christians and satanists, thats that. so yea.
PART V: GENERAL EVILNESS
Satanists: dress really scary to scare christians
Christians: seem like generally good people
from the statement about satanists i can only assume that the christian statment is about the clothing of the two. Christians seem like good people anyway becasue they try and try to push on religion; this is from my standpoint i know that not every christian does that.
“I have witnessed about 7 circumcisions and they made me feel quite ill.”
Were they catholics?.. Did you happen to witness what the nun and priest do to the baby just after circumcision?.. It took a lot of depth memory exploration for me to finally see the memories of what the nun and priest did to me behind a locked door… They held a frightening grotesque porcelain wall plaque in front of me of their “chopped-out christ’s sacred heart with a wreath of bleeding thornes”, then the nun applied an anesthetic soaked bit of gauze on my extremely painful freshly skinned penis, and they covered my head with a piece of thin cloth, but a wrinkle let me see some of what they were doing… The priest bent over me, and pressed his lips over my penis a moment… That’s how they infect a baby with their cosmic worm “Opus-d Virus”… THOSE CATHOLICS ARE TOTALLY ABSOLUTELY INSANE EVIL, doing those vile things to millions of our babies all around the world, to perpetuate their insane fagot religion money-sucking/penis-sucking scam…
Those EVIL DEMONS should NOT be permitted to get even Near Our Precious Babies…
WAKE UP WORLD! THOSE VILE DEMONS ARE SEXUALLY MOLESTING YOUR BABIES… No wonder humanity has gone Insane, and is trying to make peace with wars… Christianity is a DISEASE…
this is fukin retarded……ur gay..and i hate you.
lol..this is truly retarded man…i think your gay…and i hate you.
okay bout satanist dressing ’scary’ just to scare christians umm no thats not the reason for their choice of attire.
okay about satanist dressing ’scary’ just to scare christians. . .umm not thats not their reason for their choice of attire.
also it doesnt matter if the crusades and inquisition were hundreds of years ago. big shit they still happened and millions of people have died because of the horrors that christianity have caused.
there are also modern day horrors such as parents killing their children because ‘god’ told them too.
and what about the mass suicides preformed by hardcore christian occults because they thought thats how they were going to be ’saved’
A response to Chris Dills’ “I know, I almost poked some fun at Anton LaVey and black masses, but I wasn’t sure at first, so I erred on the side of caution.”
…The whole point of black masses are to mock the masses held by the Catholic.
And to the author of this grammatically disappointing masterpiece, you’re displaying ignorance in the quality of your writing, but as a self-righteous Satanist myself, I thoroughly enjoyed the piece.
Mate you are fucking retarded…
1st
The Bible say that every people are equal! So in frist subject you are fucked…poor people=wealthy people.
2nd
You are talking about church not about Christianity. The church realised the crusade war, not the God.
3rd,4th and 5th you are talking about church not about Christianity ! And as i can you you are fucked you didn’t readied the Bible, how can you say bullshit like this?
The church is fucked, that is the fact, the church use people, I’m Christian, ortodox and i believe that there is God!
So, first read the Bible, then talk shit like this, please!
And why do you rest for Christmas,Easter? You are atheist you have to work, you can’t cold your balls then !
So plz read the Bible and talk shit…
and yes here is my e-mail so you can answer me
chophy_bbrs@hotmail.com
It’s pretty obvious this is a general rant that is about as well researched as a child’s 5 sentence essay on Father Christmas. I’ll try and address your post as honestly as I can and prove that, actually, you’re barking in a completely different forest, mate.
I don’t know anything about Satanism thus I can’t comment on it in good faith, so I shall leave that to someone else.
1) “DANGEROUS BELIEFS”
Christians do not hate everyone. God does not hate you. You are not going to be tortured. “Love the Lord, your God with you all your soul, all your mind and all your strength, and love your neighbour as you love yourself.”
Probably not 100% accurate, word for word, but that’s the prime commandment of Christianity. You love everyone, regardless of what they say, what they do and who they are. This includes women, gays, liberals and people who cough too loudly in church.
Secondly God loves us. He is willing to absolve us of any wrongs we commit as long as we are sincere when we repent, when Adam and Eve were cast out of Eden He made their clothes, He delivered the Israelites from Israel and many other acts of love and charity.
Thirdly, Hell is more of a state of being than an actual place, at least according to my understanding. When you reject and abandon God, either by denouncing Him or flouting His commandments, God essentially leaves you to it. Hell is the absence of God, the Fire and Brimstone strikes me as being more of a pagan add-on (like Hades in Greek mythology and Hel in Norse).
2) HISTORY OF VIOLENCE AND ABUSE
As someone pointed out, this was an order by the Medieval (HINT HINT, Medieval) Roman Catholic Church. And it was largely a reply to a call for aid by the Christian Byzantine Empire, who were being attacked by Muslim Seljuk Turks and a response to Islamic occupation of former Christian territory (Jerusalem was formerly part of the Christian Roman Empire before its conquest by Arabs). It was largely seen as a reactionary war.
Also “Those who live by the sword shall die by the sword”. So yeah, it’s debatable as to whether warfare is truly compatible with Christian doctrine.
3) HOW REALISTIC IS IT?
Depends on how literally you take it. Myself, I see the cosmology as being more of a metaphor being presented for pre-Iron Age Hebrews. Be aware that most early science was conducted with the blessings of the Church; many scientists were driven by a desire to understand God’s Creation and many European universities were religious institutions. Scholars were actually members of the clergy. Cases like Galileo, who charged not because he proposed a heliocentric principle (and there was no real evidence for it at the time anyway), but because he presented the case as though the Church supported it and derided his opponents, were the exception rather than the rule.
And remember that ideas like the Earth being flat, the brain being a cooling system for the blood and the existence of unicorns and dragons, were all accepted by scientists at some point in history.
4) INDOCTRINATION
Define indoctrination. If I were to tell my daughter, for example, that if she keeps watching TV she’ll get square eyes, am I indoctrinating her? If I tell her that a tooth fairy gives 50p coins in exchange for teeth that had fallen out, is that indoctrination? If I tell her not to talk to strangers, is that indoctrination?
People raise their children in accordance to their individual beliefs and culture. Jews raised their children as Jews, Atheists as Atheists and Christians as Christians.
5) GENERAL EVILNESS
Yeah, you just contradicted yourself there, mate. And it;s questionable as whether awful fashion sense should really be considered a point against Satanists.
6) GENERAL BULLSHIT
The existence of God, or lack thereof, is a matter of opinion. Science neither proves nor disproves, regardless of what atheists like Dawkins and Atkins insist, and is really largely agnostic. It is a matter of faith and personal reasoning. Regardless, theism and belief in God should not count as a negative.
That said, I do acknowledge that Christianity has some rather stubborn stains on its hands. We have commited atrocities under the Cross, but that is through the fault of Men, not of Christ. You can’t knock Jesus because a lot of jerks follow him, unfortunately it’s a disadvantage of being a popular religion. You always get someone who takes it too far.
Feel free to poke holes in this anyway, it’s merely my counter-argument that may or may not be helpful.
I’d like to refer you to my recent post “To Those Still Commenting.” I don’t respond to comments since I stopped using this blog.
youre so offensive, and biased. Im willing to bet that youre a satanist, too.
who do you think you are to abuse peoples beliefss like this? you should be ashamed of yourself
lol It’s all in fun, man. Just chill.
Funny post, but you have it all wrong.. It’s not Christianity that is generally evil, it’s Christians that make it look bad. But what do you expect from a people that believe we are all ancestors of Adam & Eve, even Durpak Yangash your friendly gas station owner. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be evolved from monkeys after millions of years, then being a product of TONS AND TONS OF INCEST! Christians seem to be either afraid of death, ignorant, thick headed, or just plain dumb. But again, it’s not the religion, it’s the followers that always fuck it up. Case in point, ISLAM is all about peace and love, but for some reason, dumb ass followers like to use it as an excuse to kill people they don’t like. (SOUND FAMILIAR CHRISTIANS?) And to Chris Dills about his “The crusades were hundreds of years ago” Does that make it okay then? So it’s been a good 60+ years since the Nazi’s torched a bunch of Jews, does that mean I can wear a Swastika T-Shirt and start praising Mein Kampf for Hitler just wanting his people to be free from Communism? I don’t want to step on anyone’s belief’s, If your scared of dying and need to think your going to heaven or some other place after words, that’s all you, but quit knocking on my door while I’m trying to masterbate, asking me if I found Jesus yet.
I am part of a new era in Christian fellowship. No longer will the church be run as badly as it has been nor will we allow satanists to pour their poison into society. Lets not forget its satanists who are responsible for a 30% rise in canabalistic murders across the world. You are taking innocent people and torturing them. You shall not get away with it any longer. There is a new force in religion coming and it will fight back against you slimy low lives.
its almost how funny how wrong you can get. i would like to highlight a few points:
“Satanists: are morally opposed to preaching
Christians: indoctrinate children too young and innocent to know bullshit when they hear it”
do satanists not teach their kids about the magical fat christmas present giving man and the rabbit that poops out yummy little eggs every april? is that not preaching and indoctronating the young into believe bull from an early age?
if our god poofed everything up with groovy magic, how did it happen for you lot? if our faith and hope in god cant create new, the big bang makes no sense. and the same with it always was and always is. everything needs a beginning and an end.
more news:
i am a christian. i am not afraid of death. i am unsure about heaven (because i need proof. you say god?? wtf? i had my proof. i saw with my own eyes. story has to much ‘groovy magic’ to continue telling here)
i do not hate women, gays or liberals.
i can have a good time, without getting fat and STDs. its called self control. learn to have some.
i am a christian because it gives me hope. i need hope. let me have my freaking hope k? to be honest i dont preach. i dont seek to convert you or interupt your masturbating. all i ask is you respect us. because we respect you for the life you live.
Wow, dude, you have this all messed up. God doesn’t hate gays. He made them for a reason. Even though it says in the bible all who have not excepted christ into their heart will not enter the kingdom of heaven, we are all born with a choice. If people cannot make that decision, then god will accept them as he see’s fit for he knows their hearts.
Yeah, im a christian and I believe that Jesus came and died for our sins for a reason. He had the choice to back out like we all have a choice to not believe but he took the hard road as we all should.
BELIEVE
you are such an idiot! all off the above is so not true man haha fuking pathetic satan loser … get a frikking life jus thimk about who created you not momy and dady you fuck but JESUS get a fucking life u sick fuck!! haha atleast God will forgive you for being such a shallow low life fool. hahah dude ur so sad and u need Jesus my boy grow up. satan is a sorry fuck and i guess you wil b just like him asshole FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
New rule: 19-year-olds can’t tell people to grow up.
Thanks
Adam